The ABCs if you are an adult

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it  won’t float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let’s  be a bit more realistic instead.
 

A’s  for arthritis;
B’s
the bad back,
C’s
  the chest pains,perhaps car-d-iac? 

D  is for dental  decay and decline,
E
is for eyesight, can’t read that top  line!
F
is for fissures and fluid  retention,
G
  is for gas, which I’d rather not mention

H is high blood pressure–I’ d rather  it  be low,
I
  is for incisions with scars you can  show.
is for  joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
K
  is for knees that crack when they bend

L is for libido, what happened to  sex?
is for  memory, I forget what comes next.
N
is neuralgia, in nerves way down  low,
O
  is for osteo, the bones that don’t re-grow

P is for prescriptions, I have quite  a few,
just give me a pill and I’ll be good as  new!

Q
is for queasy, is it fatal or  flu?
R  is for reflux, one meal turns to two

S  is  for sleepless nights,  counting my fears,
T
  is for Tinnitus; there’s bells in my  ears!
U
  is for urinary; big troubles with  flow,
V
is for vertigo, that’s "dizzy," you  know. 

W is for worry, NOW what’s going  ’round?
X
  is for X- ray, and what might be  found.
Y
  is another year I’m left here  behind,
Z
  is for zest that I still have — in my  mind.

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